(A seemingly off-hand remark from my “real world” friend and fellow blogger (in the physical world and the blogosphere) Nonnie sparked this. For you, dearie.)
The Game: Disney Princess Smackdown
The Rules: Based off of the list of Disney Princesses given by Wikipedia each Princess will be put into a contest of pure physical strength. One rule: No fairy godmothers allowed within the premises. The winner advances to the next Princess in the list. Each week will feature the next match. May the best Princess win.
Snow White v Cinderella
The brief rain shower didn’t deter these two Princesses from getting down and battling it out for the chance to advance on to the second round. For over an hour these two homebodies went at it with brooms and bare-knuckles in a match that was closer than the relationship of the Seven Dwarfs.
Both contestants featured upper bodied strength honed after years of carting buckets of water and scrubbing down dishes and in the end it all came down to who featured the superior will-power. To those who remember Snow White’s frenzied flee from her would be murder (And who can forget? All that tripping and falling and collapsing, it was like she’d had a nip from the Wicked Stepmother’s secret brew.) the winner comes as little surprise: Cinderella wiped her competition out of the running and swept the way clear for herself to advance onto the next round.
Next Week: Cinderella v Aurora
Before I begin I just want to say: I have relatives who died in the Holocaust, I have European relatives who F.D.R. sent to South American because America had enough Jews and I can name (most of) the questions asked on Pesach.
Recently my friend, Madame M—, and I were discussing the odd fact that Walt Disney was an anti-Semite and our conversation took a turn that I’m sure many conversations about ol’ Walt have taken: How fucked up his movies seem when you think about his personal views. During our conversation we began to try and discern what Walt was trying to get at with his propaganda animations; now I’m sure many others have come up with these but I found them humorous enough to warrant posting:
- Beauty and the Beast: This was the first one we (alright, this one was all Mdme. M—) thought of and it’s message is surprisingly simple: Beauty is an Aryan and the Beast is a Jew, so remember girls, Jews are hairy and aggressive and hoard things and no one likes them.
- Sleeping Beauty: Perhaps our most controversial; Beauty was Jewish and she wasn’t sleeping she was gassed. This film was a warning film on the dangers of not using enough poison, they might just be unconscious.
- Snow White: An instructional film for Germans on how to be good Aryans. “Hi ho/Hi ho/It’s off to work we go,” the Dwarves sing, promoting the policy of unquestioning work ethic. And remember, if you question authority the S.S. will track you down and try to push you off a cliff in a thunder-storm, in other words The Queen=Heinrich Himmler.
- Cinderella: Cinderella was (you guessed it) a Jew who became too uppity to work for her Aryan employers and snuck off to the palace but thanks to a good German government official justice caught up with her, what makes the story even more amazing was the fact that this S.S. officer only had a shoe to find her with.
- Peter Pan: Wendy and her brothers were good Germans who were abducted by Jews who were in hiding and held in their secret lair. It was only because of a tireless S.S. official that the siblings were returned back to their home, this brave man was none other than a famous U-Boat captain who had lost his hand during battle with the U.S.S. Crocodile- Captain von Hewk.