Tag Archives: Wheat gluten (food)

Things I Liked In September That You’ll Like In October

”]Family watching television, c. 1958

Drawn from all my September posts here are my recommendations (fun fact: clicking on each item will take you to the post I referenced it in):


  1. “The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks”
  2. “To the Lighthouse”


  1. “Bones”
  2. “The French Chef”


  1. After I Quit My Day Job


  1. Annie’s Mac and Cheese
  2. Seitan
  3. Quorn Chik’n Nuggets

Margaret Warner:

  1. Margaret Warner


Filed under The Diary

Seitan Ribs? Er…

Last night I tweeted an excited tweet (that just doesn’t sound good- I wrote an excited tweet?) that ran along the lines of: Making seitan, blog post to follow! or something like that. Here’s the blog post.

Seitan: Tons of fun to make. It’s got the therapeutic properties of making pizza or bread dough but simpler and a bit easier on the arms (a big plus when you’re sick with a cold/cough/influenza thing.) The recipe I used was from The New Farm Vegetarian Cookbook and looked very simple. I soon realized that simple meant that they condensed and shortened a two page recipe into one page. After looking up more detailed recipes online I made seitan. That part was great.

Seitan Ribs: One of the things that I didn’t mention in my tweet was that I was making “ribs” from the same cookbook that I mentioned above. The ribs were puffy, dry, and reminded me nothing of the ribs I ate back when I ate meat (how can it be three years this upcoming July already?) After putting on the barbecue sauce and baking for the required ten extra minutes they were less dry but still horrendous. One of my parents did eat almost all of them but I ate Annie’s Mac and Cheese and carrots from our garden. My plan is to make these again but this time not cook them for an hour at 375 degrees Fahrenheit like suggested but 350 degrees and check them every half hour.

We also watched Max and Mona. Watch it.

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Filed under The Pantry

Food To Keep People Away

One of my favorite things about living in a rather isolated Vermont town is that most of the food I enjoy are somewhat of a cultural oddity to my schoolmates (tofu, tofurkey, vegetable sprouts, carrots). The looks I receive are pretty priceless (today’s sandwich, an open faced tofam, cream cheese on a sesame seed bagel brought a few “fuck”s and lots of suspicious squinty eyed looks) and that really just encourages me to keep things up. My main encourager to continue eating “unusual” foods is the fact that it keeps away the undesirables in my school. If you can’t handle raw maple-ginger tofu than you can’t handle the Lady Jane.

Seitan, or braised gluten (a much more unappealing name that has even better results), is high on my list. It comes in an oily sauce and looks like dog testes (we dissected these in eighth grade so I am not just picking a horrifying metaphor but rather being fairly literal). I eat them cold and slimy and the more pungent the better. Even my closer friends (or at least my more tolerant schoolmates) tend to shy away from me during lunch or snack time when I break out my mason jar of testes. Today however was a first, I have this female friend, a lovely girl about three years younger than me who I’ve built up a sibling relationship with, actually ate one. Never, let me repeat that, never have I had to share my seitan before. She told me it was too greasy and we both agreed that if I siphoned off the sauce it would be more appealing. Than she tried to take my lemon button cookies (they’re local!) and I tried to hit her.

A final note on the subject before I need to finish my American Literature test: Quorn Chick’n Nuggets. Besides being delicious they are extremely use full at fending off rednecks and raising eyebrows. The whole secret to using these properly is making use of their deceptive qualities. These meatless and soyless products are spot on imitations for the real deal (and not just based off of appearances, they taste fairly similar as well) and so if you can spare one than allow your target to enjoy it before casually mentioning, “The great thing is that they’re meatless! Mycoprotein is such a blessing, isn’t it?” You’ll get a queer look which is your cue to explain how they just at fungus. It’s delightfully fun.

Alright, it’s nearing five-thirty here in the Green Mountains so I’m going to chop up some potatoes, grate some cheddar, open a can of black beans and pop it in the oven.


Filed under The Pantry